Posted by
Truth-Pain on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 12:00:00 AM
Isn't revisionist history great? Especially
when applied to one's self? My mind has been musing lately on all the things
I've said, done, prognosticated, hoped-for or just plain gotten wrong going back
to my "Yute". Here's
a sampling:
* When I was a kid (mid-60's) the year 2000 seemed like a
Star Date right out of Sci-Fi. I was dead certain we would all have flying cars
like the Jetson's,
our watches would have little monitors (like Dick Tracy) and I would have a lot
more hair. None of them came true.
* I prognosticated that Rudy and Huckabee would be the
wining ticket for the GOP. I may have batted .1000 here if Rudy had not run the
worst campaign since McGovern in 1972. Mike Huck may still join McCain, but I
still won't vote for him. I'm staying home in November.
* I also said
Hillary was going have the primary wrapped-up by January 2008,... life does have
a giant sucking sound, doesn't it Rodham? (Quote by Perot so I am still
plagiarism-free)
* I said Arnold was going to clean Gray Davis' clock in
the California Governor's race (I was right). Then I got stupid and said he was
going to ride his Hollywood bully pulpit down the Democratic Legislative body
and make California a truly centrist GOP state. I forgot to count the Maria
Shriver factor.
Arnold is a R.I.N.O (on steroids at that). That's "Republican In Name Only" for
those of you politico-lingo challenged.
* I swore our troops were going
to be met with flowers and fanfare in downtown Baghdad when they first went in.
They were. I just figured it would last more than 15 minutes. It did not. I also
predicted Playboy would have a "Woman of the Sunni Triangle" edition immediately
thereafter. I'm still waiting on that...
* I thought the Minuteman
movement down at the border would be a seminal moment in the history of border
politics and that it would start a much-needed reversal of policy. It
didn't.
* In feeling sorry for white America, I lobbied for a "White
History month" to be taught in our schools; you know, just like black and latino history months
are?.... Not that I am white by any measure but I just though the Caucasians
where taking it in the shorts with not having one. It went over like a wet fart
after bad nachos at Taco Bell.
* Having failed at the above, I lobbied
for 2 token white guys to be part of every NBA team. Sort of like a affirmative
action for white boys, ya' know? Amazingly they scoffed at my idea due to
something called "competition"....? the horror! What was I thinking.
* I
though Ray Nagin
would be toast after his "New Orleans will always be a chocolate city" comment.
I failed to take into consideration the everlasting patience, stupidity and
spineless disposition of some (most?) voters.
* I tried to espouse the
principled disposition of my party, the Libertarian party that is (www.lp.org),
and both Democrats and Republicans laughed at my sorry butt. I have one more post
coming on that one.
* I glowingly said that "In our Hands" by Charles
Murray was the coolest, most though-provoking book I had read the whole year,...
and got lambasted for supporting eugenics. Do you see a pattern
here?...
So what the hell; here a sampling of my bold predictions
for the rest of 2008.
* Barack is taking the White House, but not by the
landslide the talking heads are yapping about. McCain is going to surprise some
people with his strength in the south and (trumpets please) that he loses
California by only 2 points. And no, he is really not picking the Huckster as
his VP. It's Lieberman baby.
* Speaking of Barack, twenty minutes
after he sits his boney b inutt JFK's old chair (shouldn't they retire
that freakin'
thing?) Russia, China, Iran, Bosnia, Venezuela, and a half dozen other countries
will begin planning how to test the new American President. The first 100 days
will be ugggglyyyyyy.
* Thirty minutes after his
boney butt is still
plastered to the cracked leather, the House will bring forth a resolution to
impeach Bush, Cheney, God, Condoleeza, Ralph Nader and any other person or
entities who p.o.'d the party of the Donkey in the last 8 years.
*
Fifty minutes after his boney............. Mitt Romney will move to Iowa to
begin campaigning for 2012. John Edwards will be 2 doors down the hall.
*
Not wanting to go through the impaling process again, Hillary will back-stab
Harry Reid at the first opportunity and try to run the Senate for the next 20
years. Yes, she will win the leadership role and probably be King-maker for the
next 4 democratic primaries.
* Speaking of Hillary, having no use for
Bill, she will finally dump his useless butt and have Ellen Degeneres move into her
digs. Ellen will be quoted as saying "Shame on you Bill!".
* Your think
McCain is a pugnacious, hot-tempered little Troll now? Wait till he loses the
election. His arms will retract another 6 inches, the comb over will look like
David Gergen's, and
his wife Cindy will divorce his butt too...., just in case he really did boink
that lobbyist.
* The U.S. will really put the hammer down in the Summer
Olympics and kick serious booty in most of the events. The success of the
Americans will further rile-up the world and the crowds will chant
"Ste.......roids!"
during each medal presentation. Barry Bonds will not be allowed into the
country. His larger-than-Godzilla head will be deemed a "clear and present
danger" to the communist government.
* As to me? I will still be
making inroads to the local political apparatus, I will still be going to the
cave quite often, and my Blog postings will still get a Blog readability test of
"Elementary School". (I swear that made me laugh my a**
off...)
Coda